Man, today I had one on one meeting with my manager. I had no clue what I did ever since he mentioned that we will have one on one.

I was on leave on thursday, friday. On friday evening my boss named sri mentioned that we shall ahve 1:1.

I had an hunch that my manger would be checking my github commits just to see how well I’m performing. Not for this year man! I had that fear two years back when I was working in SAP! Fucked up fucking things are fucking up.

I’m able to sense two years from now voice at present. Which means, I’m not being present. Please do not think yourself that you are very special and have magic powers.

Either there is something wrong in my head or there inothing wrong with me, but wrong with everyone’s head.

I’m not sure nowadays whether I’m smart or I’m delussionaly smart or just smart. People are fucking me up man. more importantly, for the past three days, I have been drinking alcohol. its not three days, its three nights.

Why Im different. Why I’m like this?

How to prove that a graph based code base can be reduced into a configuration based !

Man, why these peopl are not listening to me man.

because they are not people dude, its spelled as PIGPLE, because they are big people, in short called PIGPLE. ha ha ha.

Today I had no fear that my job is at stake. I have got used to it man. I have no clue what to do about things anymore. Either focus on the ui editor or try to listen on what people talk in office man. I also feel like a child inside, today morning I started reading another book. In that book it was mentioned that,

winners dont quit and quitters dont win.

what a fucked up quire that pushes you through each and every failure in the office man.

Every options are slipping out of my hand. on saturday I attended interview for salesforce and o9 solutions.

Today morning o9 solution HR lady name kusuma was a nice hearted person. he had a nice voice and I wanted to tell her, she is a happy person, and I get happy on hearing her voice.

Do I tell her that it is because she is an HR or let her know that I had an old friend name kusuma, we all planned for a birthday party for a friend, we went to his room where he was living with other friends, instead of cutting the cake, what I did was , I took it, and splattered it on his face, it also ruined the wall.

It was at this moment I realised that fun means different to different people, and my way of having fun is totally different.

Those were my two close friends, during my college and after that, untill the concept of marriage came into picture, mostly I was the first one who gave importance to a girl than them. I sacrified my friends for her. Her name was sajini. it was disastrous and only quote I try to remind myself is to tell myself that I have some life left, and make the best use of it.

This girl kusuma latha, she was in the circle of vivekananda, sakthivel. While they were working in walmart, I had an hungh that something is oing in their circle, what vivekananda didnt know was that, kusuma and sakthivel were in relationship, somehow vivek did something that fucked it up. vivek mentioned. to me that he didnt know, and sakthi mentioned that vivek fucked it up.

actually I wanted to tell kusuma is that she is a happy person, but unfortunately, I was not able to. I tried calling her twice, but she didnt return my call. mostly because of the message that I dropped, because I didnt address her proplerly or I failed in the interview miserably.

Here is another observation, sakthi, vivek and kusumalatha activity happened many years back, at the least, 8 years back. and few years back, when I visited Aravind near doddaehally, we were just roaming around the place and took a walk to decathalom. What we found was that, we cound’t get what we wanted to buy, instead were.

man, macha, I just had a strong eye contact with a teacher in the school bus just now, its another coincidence man, today morning, when I left home, we were in the car, and there was a school bus with kids in it. I knew for sure that there will be a teacher, coincidentally, she was looking out and I caught her.

back to the coincidence, kusuma I saw her twice, again, last friday kusuma name appeared again,.

These things are just occurances, incidents, do not overanalyse it man. ok